My husband wants me to wear stockings

Abbie

“My husband wants me to wear stockings. I don’t hate the idea, but I’m not sure they’re really me. What should I do?”

I get versions of this question a lot.
It usually comes quietly, without drama — just a sense that there’s a right answer somewhere and they’re not sure what it is.

So I’ll say this up front: I’m biased.
I default to hold-ups. I always have.

Stockings carry a lot of feeling with them. For many men, they’re wrapped up in memory and fantasy — a certain line, a certain look, a sense of ceremony. For many women, they can feel more like something you put on to be seen than something you simply wear.

That difference is where the tension usually lives.

If you genuinely like stockings — the way they feel, the way they change your posture, the way you move in them — then that’s easy. Wear them because they do something for you. But if they make you feel stiff, overdone, or like you’re stepping into a role that isn’t quite yours, you don’t need to talk yourself into them just because someone else likes the idea.

This is where my bias shows.

If you like the look your partner is responding to — the hint of skin, the line of the leg, the sense of intention — but not the ritual that comes with stockings, hold-ups often make more sense. They give a similar visual pull, but they’re simpler, more relaxed, and for many women feel more like clothing than costume.

For me, that matters. I want what I’m wearing to feel like it belongs to my body, not to someone else’s expectation.

So if your husband wants you to wear stockings, the real question isn’t whether you should.
It’s whether you want to — and if you do, whether there’s a way to answer that desire without losing yourself in it.

Sometimes the answer is stockings.
Often, it’s hold-ups.
And sometimes, it’s neither.

All three can be right — as long as the choice still feels like yours.