Abbie - Help I am a man with a violent girlfriend suffering domestic violence.

To the outside world, my girlfriend of four years is quite the catch, stunning looks, a size ten body and a great personality. To top it off, she knows what she is doing in bed!

But behind closed doors, she portrays another side where she is violent towards me, that I have to cover my bruises.

The trigger is mainly drinking, though they can also come randomly, when she is under pressure or having a bad day.

When she has calmed down, she is always apologetic and often writes little love notes, or we browse your site together for some lingerie in an attempt to make things up.

She is an only child, with parents who over love her, treating her like a princess, and she has always had her way and spoilt. 

Most of the time, she is lovely, and now chatting about us getting married, But my question is this a good idea?

Every day a man somewhere falls victim to this horrible and indescribable crime. Domestic violence is always considered a slightly taboo subject. One we either ignore or shy away from discussing and why? We ask ourselves why because the truth is this indecent crime is happening everywhere, and we must stand up and fight against the cruel people who think it is OK. 

Every year in the UK, around 767,000 men are victims of domestic abuse, making up one-third of the total.

Please let me ask you a question, Do you have a female friend?

What would your answer be if she told you her partner was knocking her around repeatedly?

Would you tell her not to worry about her handsome prince charming and that it is not his fault, it is his parents? 

The gifts and love notes more than make up for the bruises. I think not!

Abusers do not change, and Just because you are a man you should not have to feel you can cope with a few bruises, but the knock to your self-worth has a far worse impact.

The gifts, love notes, and apologies are just a way to regain your trust and love, all to do it again.

Take a deep breath, hold your head up high and get out. Your abuser may apologise. She may seem genuine but do not leave those rose-tinted glasses on. 

What you can do if you are experiencing domestic violence

Remember your safety is of paramount importance.  

Call 999 if you are in immediate danger.

Top tip.

 If you can not talk, press 55 on your mobile when connected. The police will then attempt to trace your location.

Do not retaliate

The police can and will arrest you instead of the aggressor.  

Try and get to a safe room or leave the house instead.

Abbie is the agony aunt for those trying to navigate the world of lingerie. As an online lingerie owner, I help my customers with everything – from relationship problems to finding the sexy nightwear that will excite your partner to tips and tricks on making lingerie more comfortable. 

Do you have a question for Abbie?

To answer the questions that you might be too shy to ask your friends. Abbie is your lingerie fairy godmother. 

Email abbie@quinnbeauty.co.uk