How Do You Get Used to Wearing Stockings?

The Question

“Abbie, if lingerie is supposed to be about confidence, why do I just feel ridiculous in stockings?”

I could have filed that under reader confessions I completely understand.

Because even though I know stockings — I’ve worn more pairs than I’ll ever admit — they still sit low on my list.
Jeans when I can.
Hold-ups when I want to feel polished.
Stockings only when the night feels like it deserves that extra decision.

I’ve tested stockings across different brands, price points, and designs — and one thing stays surprisingly consistent: there’s often an adjustment period at the beginning.

Still, the word stayed with me.
Ridiculous.

Not uncomfortable.
Not unattractive.
Ridiculous.

And I started wondering whether that feeling was about the stockings — or about how unfamiliar they can feel when you’re used to lingerie that disappears once it’s on.

So I decided to find out.

Setting the Scene

Friday night. Proper dinner. The kind where nobody’s pretending it’s casual, but nobody’s dressing for theatre either.

Black silk wrap dress — the kind that moves easily but doesn’t apologise.
Heels that make me stand differently.
Perfume with base notes dark enough to feel like a decision.

The Dark Secret BS160 stockings felt right for that kind of night.
Heavy lace top.
A seam that runs clean and deliberate.
Fabric fine enough to shift with light instead of fighting it.

Getting them on is part patience, part negotiation — roll, clip, smooth, adjust, breathe, repeat.

And when I stood up, I caught myself smiling.

Stockings do that.
Not because they make you look different.
Because they make you arrive differently.

The Difference From What I Normally Wear

Most nights out, if I’m wearing hosiery, it’s hold-ups.

They’re effortless.
They let me forget about them once they’re on.
They give me femininity without asking for attention back.

Stockings aren’t like that.

Stockings are presence.

Not loud.
Not dramatic.
But never completely ignorable — and that’s either unsettling, or powerful, depending on the night.

Many women wonder if stockings are supposed to feel noticeable at first, or if they should feel as easy as hold-ups.
The truth is, stockings usually feel different in the beginning — and that’s completely normal.

At the restaurant, I felt them before I thought about them.

Silk dress sliding against nylon.
The quiet tension across my thighs when I moved.
The awareness that comes with structure — not uncomfortable, just… present.

If you’re trying stockings for the first time, it can take a few wears before they stop feeling unfamiliar.

This is the part nobody talks about when they ask if stockings are “worth it”.
They don’t disappear the way tights or hold-ups can.
They make you slightly more aware of yourself.

And if you’re not used to that, it can feel like too much at first.

The Social Reality

Did anyone obviously stare?
No.

But there were moments.

A glance that lasted half a second longer than usual.
A look at my legs when I stood up to leave the table.
The kind of noticing that might mean nothing — or might mean everything — depending on how you carry it.

Stockings aren’t invisible.
And part of wearing them is deciding you’re fine with that.

Not because you’re performing.
Because you chose something deliberate.

The Shift

Somewhere between courses, I stopped analysing.

I crossed my legs without checking the seam.
I reached for my glass more slowly than usual.
I stopped wondering how I looked, and started noticing how I felt.

Not dramatic.
Not transformed.

Just… more intentional in how I existed in the space.

That’s the part people mistake for “sexiness”.

It’s usually just certainty.

Why Stockings Can Feel “Ridiculous” At First

Usually, it’s not the look.
It’s the awareness.

Stockings ask you to:
Take longer getting dressed
Be more conscious of how you move
Accept that they aren’t background clothing

And if you’re used to comfort-first, invisible lingerie — that can feel like you’re suddenly visible, even if nobody else actually knows why.

Some women try stockings once and realise they prefer hold-ups for everyday wear — not because stockings don’t work, but because stockings demand more presence. Others find that awareness is exactly what they like.

There’s no failure in choosing ease most of the time.

Back Home

Later, unclipping each strap felt like switching lights off one by one.
Slow.
Quietly satisfying.
Final.

The faint lace marks on my skin looked less like evidence and more like memory.

The Answer

We feel ridiculous when we expect confidence to arrive instantly.

Stockings aren’t instant confidence.
They’re the moment before it.

They ask you to notice yourself.
And that can feel awkward — right up until it starts feeling powerful.

Abbie’s Verdict

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ (4.5 / 5)

The Dark Secret BS160 stockings aren’t background pieces.
They require awareness.
They reward intention.

They didn’t make me someone else.
They reminded me I already know how to take up space —
just sometimes with better posture, slower movement, and finer fabric.