I love wearing holdups but my new boyfriend wants me to wear Stockings and Suspenders

Abbie

I’ve always loved wearing your Ballerina hold-ups. God knows how many I have brought from you—they’re sexy and easy to wear, and my previous boyfriends have adored them. But my latest boyfriend has hinted that stockings and suspenders are an even bigger turn-on for him. I am torn. Should I feel offended that my preference isn’t enough, or should I oblige his stockings request?

Oh, sweetheart, aren’t lingerie dilemmas both a blessing and a curse? On the one hand, you’ve already found a look that makes you feel fabulous (hello, Ballerina hold-ups!), and on the other, you’re wondering if you need to swap them out to stockings to please your beau. Let’s unravel this silky situation together.

Understanding His Request (Hint: It’s Not About You Not Being Enough!)

First, let’s put your mind at ease: your boyfriend’s interest in stockings and suspenders isn’t a critique of you or your beloved hold-ups. Preferences like this often come from a place of fantasy and excitement—it’s about his idea of what stockings and suspenders represent. For some, stockings evoke glamour, vintage allure, or the tease of adjusting those little straps.

His request is more likely an expression of what turns him on than dissatisfaction with you. Please accept a compliment that he feels comfortable enough to share his preferences. But let’s not forget: your preferences matter too, and your comfort is just as important as his fantasies.

How to Navigate This with Style

Relationships thrive on communication and compromise. You have the opportunity here to strengthen both. Here’s a plan to make sure you feel empowered while exploring his request:

Acknowledge Your Confidence

Start by reminding yourself—and him—why you love your Ballerina hold-ups. They make you feel sexy, confident, and ready to conquer the world (or at least date night). Your confidence in Ballerina hold-ups has already been a winner, so don’t let his preferences make you second-guess yourself. You’re already a vision of allure—whether it’s lace, satin, or straps.

Share Your Perspective with a Smile

Have an open conversation about it, framed in positivity. For example:

“I’ve always loved hold-ups because they make me feel amazing, and I know they’ve been a hit in the past! But I’m intrigued by why you find stockings and suspenders such a turn-on—tell me more.”

This approach does two things: it reaffirms your confidence in your choices while creating space for your boyfriend's preferences to be heard.

Make It a Playful Experiment

If you’re open to trying his suggestion, frame it as a fun lingerie adventure rather than an obligation. For example:

• “Let’s make a date of it!”  Plan an evening where you surprise him with stockings and suspenders, and see where the mood takes you.
• “Help me choose!”  Invite him to pick the Ballerina stockings he loves—this not only builds anticipation but also makes it a collaborative experience.
• “Mix it up!”  If you’re attached to your hold-ups, try wearing them under suspenders as a hybrid look. You get to keep your favourite style while giving him a taste of the fantasy he loves.

The key here is that you’re choosing to explore something new, not being pushed into it. When framed as an exciting mutual experience, it can feel like a fun way to bond.

If you give stockings and suspenders a try and they don’t make you feel as fabulous as your hold-ups, that’s perfectly okay! The best lingerie is the kind that makes you feel confident and empowered, so if stockings don’t spark joy, there’s no need to stick with them. You can gently let him know that while you appreciate his suggestion, you feel your best in hold-ups—and that’s what truly matters.

Here’s a line you could use:

“I gave stockings and suspenders a try because I wanted to explore something you love, but I feel my most confident in hold-ups. I hope that confidence is what you love most about me!”

Confidence is always the sexiest thing you can wear, and if he values you for who you are, he’ll respect that.

As I always say - lingerie which includes stockings is about you. It’s a tool to express your sensuality, confidence, and style—not a uniform to meet someone else’s expectations. Whether you stick with your beloved Ballerina hold-ups or slip into stockings and suspenders for a special occasion, the most important thing is you feel amazing.

Because here’s the truth, darling: it’s not the lace or the straps that make you irresistible—it’s you. The lingerie is just the cherry on top. So go forth, explore, and wear whatever makes you feel like the goddess you are.