I love to dress up in stockings with my wife - does that make me a crossdresser?

Abbie

I'm a man who enjoys wearing stockings and suspenders in the bedroom with my wife. It's something we both find incredibly exciting and it turns us both on. But I've been wondering—does this make me a cross-dresser?

First, thank you for your openness and willingness to explore and question your desires—this is a space many people shy away from, so your honesty is refreshing.

Dressing up in stockings and suspenders with your wife brings the two of you joy, intimacy, and excitement, which is beautiful.

Now, to get to the heart of your question: does that make you a cross-dresser?
Let’s break it down.

Cross-dressing traditionally refers to wearing clothes typically associated with the opposite gender. For men, that might mean wearing garments like dresses, skirts, or lingerie that are considered feminine in many cultures. However, it's important to remember that fashion is evolving, and what we wear shouldn’t strictly define us or our identities. Cross-dressing is a broad term that can carry different meanings for different people.

In your case, it seems that wearing stockings and suspenders is part of an intimate experience with your wife—something you both enjoy and find exciting. That in itself doesn’t necessarily align with the traditional or societal ideas of cross-dressing. Instead, it sounds like you're engaging in something that enhances your relationship, adds fun to your bedroom, and turns you both on.

Even if it does fall under the umbrella of cross-dressing, the more important question is:  Does it bother you?  From what you’ve shared, it doesn’t sound like you have any discomfort with what you’re doing, and neither does your wife. That’s what matters. In healthy relationships, sexual preferences, fantasies, and behaviours that are consensual and make both partners happy are the key to keeping things exciting. The label is secondary.

If anything, consider how dressing up might be a way for you to express a different side of yourself, connect with your wife, or tap into a fantasy that you both enjoy. And that’s perfectly okay! Relationships thrive on trust, openness, and the ability to explore without shame.

The fact that you enjoy stockings and suspenders doesn’t define your entire identity. It doesn’t say anything about your masculinity or your sexual orientation. It simply reflects one way you and your wife connect and express yourselves in the bedroom.It’s also worth noting that many people—whether they identify as male, female, or somewhere in between—experiment with clothing, textures, and styles that aren’t considered “traditional” for their gender. And it’s often just that—an experiment, a way to add excitement and novelty to life. In your case, it sounds like this particular style is simply something that turns both of you on, and that’s what’s most important.

At the end of the day, what you’re describing is a consensual and shared experience between two people in love. You’re exploring something that adds spark to your intimate life, and if it works for both of you, there’s no need to over analyse or attach a specific label to it.

You and your wife are clearly on the same page, and that’s a rare and valuable thing in any relationship. So my advice?  Embrace it.  Don’t let societal labels or expectations get in the way of what feels good for you and your partner.

Remember, you define yourself—not the clothes or stockings you wear.