I caught my painter wearing my stockings - then slept with him.

Dear Abbie,

I recently came home from work early and found my painter and decorator wearing  my stockings and heels —he had taken it from my linen basket! After the initial shock, I was surprised to realize that I found the whole situation quite erotic. Things escalated quickly, and I ended up sleeping with him, much to his surprise. Though, I’m a bit annoyed because he laddered my favourite pair of stockings in the process! He later sent me a few pictures of him in my stockings, which I sent you and wanted to see me again, but I refused.

My question is: why did this turn me on so much? I’m confused by my reaction.

What an unexpected experience! It’s completely natural to feel confused about your reaction, but let’s break it down and make sense of what happened. Sexuality can be a complex and highly personal thing, and what turns us on is often tied to more than just physical attraction. Here are a few possible reasons why this scenario might have sparked such a strong response from you.

The Element of Surprise and the Unconventional

First catching someone in such an unexpected situation can stir up intense emotions. When you walked in on your painter wearing your stockings, the shock factor likely played a role in how you responded. We’re hardwired to feel more excitement when things take us by surprise, especially in a context where boundaries are pushed.

The fact that the situation was out of the ordinary might have triggered a sense of  excitement  and a thrill of the taboo. You suddenly found yourself in a situation where the "rules" of normal, everyday life were flipped on their head. It’s not something you planned, but that novelty—combined with curiosity—can be incredibly arousing.

Stockings as a Symbol of Sexuality

Stockings are often tied to feelings of sensuality and empowerment. Even if it wasn’t on your body at the time, seeing your lingerie on someone else might have evoked those feelings. Stockings can symbolize intimacy and desire, and finding your painter wearing it might have created a subconscious association with sexuality.

It’s possible that seeing someone else in your personal items felt almost like a  reflection of your own sensuality , amplifying those feelings of arousal. The fact that this man was wearing something you associate with feeling sexy may have shifted the experience into a more erotic space.

The Power Dynamic

Another reason this may have turned you on is the unexpected shift in power dynamics. Typically, you hire someone to do a job, which places you in a position of authority. When you discovered him in your stockings, that dynamic was disrupted. In this scenario, the painter might have appeared vulnerable or exposed, and for some people, that reversal of roles can be extremely arousing.

There’s also the added layer of  control and permission —you ultimately decided how the situation unfolded, and that sense of power can be exciting.

Exploration of Taboo and Kink

Many people are turned on by experiences that fall outside of societal norms, even if they don’t realize it until the moment it happens. Seeing your stockings being used in a way you hadn’t expected may have tapped into a latent curiosity about  kink or role reversal . This can be a gateway into discovering hidden desires or interests that you may not have been fully aware of.

For example, the idea of a man wearing traditionally feminine items, like stockings, might play into an exploration of gender roles or even power exchange, both of which can heighten erotic tension.

Spontaneity and Losing Control

Finally, the sheer  spontaneity  of the situation likely played a significant role in why it felt so erotic. Being thrust into a highly charged, unexpected moment can bypass our usual thinking patterns and go straight to our primal instincts. In that heightened state, you may have acted on your impulses without overthinking, which can be incredibly freeing.

In that moment, you allowed yourself to indulge in your desires without stopping to question them, which could have heightened the overall intensity of the experience.

Human Curiosity and Sexual Discovery

It’s worth noting that being turned on by something unusual doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with you.  Human sexuality is fluid , and it’s full of twists and turns that can surprise us. Sometimes, we’re turned on by things that we wouldn’t expect, simply because they push boundaries or introduce new experiences. That curiosity is natural—and often a way we explore different aspects of our own desires.

In the end, your reaction doesn’t mean you’ve uncovered a deep-rooted fetish, nor does it imply anything beyond the fact that your body and mind responded to a unique and unexpected situation.  Sexuality is complicated  and influenced by a range of factors—surprise, power dynamics, curiosity, and spontaneous desire. What’s important is that you felt comfortable and followed your instincts in the moment.

Oh, and as for your  laddered stockings ? Perhaps this is the perfect excuse to treat yourself to a new pair from our Ballerina stockings Brand —you deserve it after such an interesting day!

See our special offer on buying two pairs of Stockings for £32

With love and understanding,

Abbie