He Won’t Have Sex Unless I Wear Stockings

Abbie

I used to wear stockings fairly often — not every day, but enough that they felt like part of me.

I didn’t decide to stop. Life got louder, comfort mattered more, and somewhere along the way I just stopped reaching for them.

My partner noticed. Now he sulks if I don’t wear them. We argue. Recently he’s said he doesn’t really feel like being intimate unless I do.

I can’t tell if this is just desire — or something else.

Is this normal?

Yes — this happens more often than people admit.
And no — it isn’t really about stockings.

Most women don’t stop wearing them because they fall out of love with how they feel. They stop because something once intentional slowly slips into the category of effort. There’s rarely a moment. Just absence.

That matters. Because it means this wasn’t a rejection — it was a quiet shift that someone else felt before you named it.

Stockings carry weight.
Not because they’re sexual in a loud way — but because they change how you move. How you sit. How aware you are of your own body beneath your clothes. They introduce a soft tension: fabric against skin, secrecy under the ordinary.

For many men, that tension becomes a signal. Of anticipation. Of being chosen rather than accommodated.

Where things go wrong is not in missing that signal — but in how the loss of it is handled.

Sulking, arguing, or withholding intimacy isn’t passion. It’s frustration looking for leverage. And sex should never become a reward for dressing a certain way.

That’s the line Abbie won’t blur.

Here’s the truth people rarely say out loud

You don’t have to choose between giving in and digging your heels in.

There is a middle ground — but only if it’s chosen, not demanded.

This is where many women quietly reset things with hold-ups.
They keep the whisper of intention — the feel of sheer fabric, the awareness in the body — without the ceremony or pressure of full stockings and suspenders. They feel sensual without feeling like a performance.

The question to ask yourself isn’t what does he want?
It’s this:

If I put something back on, does it feel like desire… or compliance?

If it feels like desire, that choice can be delicious.
If it feels like compliance, then the problem isn’t your drawer — it’s the dynamic.

Abbie’s verdict

It’s normal for desire to attach itself to details.
It’s not healthy for intimacy to become conditional.

You don’t owe anyone effort under pressure.
But you are allowed to reintroduce intention — slowly, softly, on your own terms — if you miss how it made you feel in your own skin.

The moment the choice feels like yours again, the tension changes.

If you’re curious about a softer way to reintroduce that feeling — something sheer, deliberate, and easy to live in — hold-ups are often the simplest place to begin.