Why Do Women Wear Hold-Ups?

Most days as my 100s of regular readers know, I’m in jeans and trainers.

Hair half-done. Moving quickly. Thinking about work, not my legs.

Which is exactly why it matters that sometimes, deliberately, I choose hold-ups.

They don’t belong to my default setting.

And that’s the point.

Hold-ups are supposed to be provocative. That’s the story.

But most of the time I wear them, no one sees them.

So what are we actually doing when we choose them?

They Interrupt Autopilot

You can’t rush putting on hold-ups.

You roll them slowly. Smooth them over your calves. Adjust the band when it reaches your thigh.

There’s always that small moment when the lace settles into place.

That’s when I feel it.

Not “I look sexy.”

More like: I’m here.

I become aware of the back of my legs when I walk. The light tension in the fabric. The contrast between sheer and bare skin.

It pulls me out of autopilot.

And I think that’s one of the real reasons women wear them.

They Make You Deliberate

Jeans-and-trainers Abbie moves fast.

Hold-ups Abbie moves with intention.

Not dramatically. Not theatrically.

Just deliberately.

I notice how I’m sitting. I cross my legs differently. I don’t slouch as much.

It’s subtle, but it changes the energy I carry into a room.

That shift isn’t about being watched.

It’s about being self-contained.

They’re Private — and That’s the Power

Under a simple black dress, no one would guess.

That’s my favourite part.

There’s something grounding about knowing there’s a detail about how I feel that isn’t visible to anyone else.

It creates a quiet steadiness.

Not “look at me.”

More like: I know exactly how I feel right now.

That’s darker than people expect. And far more interesting.

They Sit Between Soft and Controlled

Tights are practical. Suspenders are structured.

Sheer hold-ups sit somewhere in between.

There’s softness in the transparency. But the band draws a clean line across your thigh that feels controlled.

That line does something psychologically.

It makes me feel assembled.

Not dressed up. Assembled.

When I say sheer black hold-ups, I don’t mean glossy shine or heavy lace.

I mean refined. Minimal. Grown.

That’s why I gravitate toward the Dark Secret sheers in our edit.

The fabric is genuinely sheer. The band is clean, not overworked. They don’t feel like costume lingerie.

They feel like a decision.

And that’s the difference.

I’m not putting on a character.

I’m reinforcing a mood.

If you want to see the exact styles I mean, start with our Sheer Black Hold-Ups by Dark Secret collection. It’s tightly curated. No theatrics. Just pieces that feel intentional.

From what I’ve seen, and felt?

We wear them because:

• They interrupt routine
• They pull us back into our bodies
• They change how we move
• They create private control
• They feel chosen

And chosen feels different.

If This Is You

If you live in denim most days.

If you don’t identify with costume lingerie.

If you want something that feels sensual but controlled.

Start with sheer black.

The shift isn’t dramatic.

It’s internal.

And once you feel it, you understand.

– Abbie 🖤