Ask Abbie. I caught my husband wearing my underwear.

Ask Abbie. I caught my husband wearing my underwear.


Q: I have been married to my husband for ten years. Last month I caught him wearing my underwear 

I found out entirely by accident, after a silly drunken row with a girlfriend on a night out, I came home earlier than expected, and there he was in the living room wearing nothing but a pair of my briefs.

I could tell he was embarrassed! After a conversation, he admitted he had been wearing my underwear for years in secret.

I had a few to drink, thinking it was a good idea to see him wearing a few more of my briefs. One thing leading to another, I noticed his heightened arousal and the best sex we had in years.

In the cold light of morning when sober - I agreed to tolerate this liking, with the conditions he did not overdo it. 

And he wears his underwear, not mine, hence why I am on your site.

I do love him and struggling yet trying to accept this shift. 

What I am asking. Have you come across this before?  

Should I be buying lingerie for him, Is that not encouraging him? What if someone finds out?

Yes, I have come across this before, more frequently than you may think.  

I wonder if you are more afraid of anyone finding out, I agree it is an issue hence why you are struggling to come to terms with your husband's cross-dressing.  I do not detect any serious emotional objection from you.

In my book, anything that improves a sex life is a good thing!

Yes by buying him underwear, you are encouraging him, and by doing this, he has your blessing, But I think he is not going to stop, especially after doing it for years. Now it is out in the open that is better than going underground again don't you think?

And from a hygiene point of view, It is much better he has his own

I do not believe there to be a moral issue, no crime is taking place, and it is his personal preference.

I would advise you to shrug this off, buy him the underwear and say all is fine.

You can check out our Roza Briefs and Thongs collection here and get 2 pairs for £31


Abbie is the agony aunt for those trying to navigate the world of lingerie. As an online lingerie owner, I help my customers with everything – from finding the sexy nightwear that will excite your partner to tips and tricks on making lingerie more comfortable. 

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To answer the questions that you might be too shy to ask your friends. Abbie is your lingerie fairy godmother. 

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